Have you ever experienced a sudden turn for worse in your life just when things started to go well and you were about to make positive changes in life or achieve your goal?
Many of us have.
Do you remember what happened then? Perhaps due to your own actions, or lack of them, or because of some unpredicted events – you didn’t reach your goal, you didn’t succeed.
Often when we look back at such situations, we know exactly what happened:
We ourselves, for some unexplained reason, ruined our chance for success. It could be that we have reached our desired weight and then gained 10 pounds over the holidays. Or we overcame a bad habit and then fell off the wagon. Perhaps we found our dream man/woman but became distant and mean and that person left us. Or, on our way to an important business meeting, we took a detour and got stuck in traffic. So we never got that job or made that deal.
Sometimes it is obvious that our own actions, thoughts or attitude sabotage our efforts. Sometimes, however, we are left wondering why we had such bad luck, or why things fell apart despite our hard work.
The answer might be a bit shocking to us.
Whether we are aware of it or not, many of us have a tendency to self-sabotage when it comes to our success. Deep in our subconscious, we fear success and so, driven by that subconscious fear we sabotage our own happiness.
Most scientists and psychologists agree that The Fear of Success is similar to The Fear of Failure. It doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman: The Fear of Success can subconsciously haunt you, resulting in you repeatedly sabotaging your goals and dreams.
The reasons for developing the Fear of Success may vary from person to person.
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It might be that you subconsciously believe that you won’t be able to maintain your success and will eventually fail anyway.
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It might be that you subconsciously believe that you are not good enough to reach for your dreams or – it might be that you associate success in your mind with things that you subconsciously believe to be “negative”, “wrong” or even “disgusting”.
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You might subconsciously believe that to achieve success in life you need to be cunning, ruthless, arrogant, bullying, heartless, etc. You might even hold resentment in your heart toward some successful people whom, for whatever reason, you despise and do not want to “end up” being like them.
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Or – you may feel some level of guilt or shame when you see less fortunate members of your family or co-workers who hadn’t had any success.
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Or – what you are striving for is not what you really, truly want on a deeper level. It might be that what your environment perceives as success doesn’t really speak to you and because you haven’t yet discovered what you really want – you strive for what’s labeled as a success by the society or your environment – but really have no interest in it in your Heart. You always need to find out what’s in your Heart before you set your foot on the path to success.
You can find the simple steps to finding your Own Truth at this link (click on the picture):
What happens when our inner Truth doesn’t agree with what we want to achieve, or The Fear of Success drives our life?
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We may avoid or procrastinate on big projects, especially if they could lead to recognition.
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We may compromise our own agenda or goals so that it won’t cause any problems or conflicts in our family or organization.
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We may sabotage our own efforts just moments before achieving our dreamed of or thoroughly planned success. Or we might give up already at the beginning and never start working on our plans at all.
If you find out that any of the above is applicable to you – it might be that you have an unconscious Fear of Success. And its symptoms are often similar to the symptoms of The Fear of Failure.
It is because your Fear of Success is rooted in your imprinted belief that success will bring you sorrow.
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You might believe that success alienates one from their family, because of working longer hours, or being asked for favors and money.
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You might be afraid that you will be criticized more when you are “higher up”, and that your friends or family will react to you with jealousy, cynicism, and that you might lose your loved ones.
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Or you simply might be afraid that upon accomplishing your goals, you will intensely regret that you didn’t act sooner.
Whatever reason hides behind your Fear of Success – it is effectively sabotaging your happiness.
How to overcome the Fear of Success:
Step 1
Ask yourself the following questions:
– Do I really think that it is better to be unhappy in an unhappy crowd, instead of proving to others that everything is possible, and if I can succeed they could do it too?
– Do I actually believe that my family or friends are happier because I haven’t achieved my success yet?
– Am I sure that my success needs to lead to disappointments and bring me sorrow in the end? If so: what makes me think that way? Is my inner truth in conflict with how my environment sees success? What can I do to find out what I really want, what would make me happy in my life?
Ask yourself similar questions, bringing to the surface each of the issues that may subconsciously sabotage your life.
Answer them truthfully on a piece of paper – compare pros and cons.
Step 2
Notice and accept the simple fact: In order to be happy, you need to look inside and find out what your own truth is. Remember: you have your own, unique purpose in life. In order to be happy you need to fulfill it. You need to find your Own Inner Truth and align your dreams with it.
Not fulfilling your purpose and giving up on your dreams will definitely bring you sorrow. You can be sure of that.
Step 3
Notice that every human being on this planet lives his/her own unique life. Every single person has a choice how to stay pure in their heart, and how to conduct their own actions. There is no need to succeed in a way that is not in harmony with what you hold as precious and important.
You are not a number in statistics. Whatever or whoever made you think that way – is wrong.
You are a unique being, one in billions, with your own story to tell.
You can be successful on your own terms: you do not need to behave in any other way than that which is TRUE TO YOU.
Step 4
Realize that the whole of nature expresses itself through thriving, blooming, and joy. We, humans, are part of that nature. Our natural expression of ourselves in its very nature is thriving and joy.
What society pushes on us, labeling it as a success – that is having power, lots of money, fame, etc. – is not true success. Of course, there is nothing wrong with having that – as long as it is in alignment with who we are.
Expressing what is important to us deep inside, fulfilling our own purpose according to our Own Truth – is the true success that we need to achieve in life. So that we can bloom, thrive and be joyous just the way nature intended us to be.
Success understood as the expression of who we are is a natural thing in our life.
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Find out what’s in your heart and go for it.
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Once you do so, unless your subconscious fears or ego drives kick in – you’ll never sabotage your success again.
You were born to be successful. Accept it.
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Look into your heart and bring to light what’s most important to you.
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Don’t listen to your fears and get rid of your subconscious programming.
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Go for the true success.
Johanna Kern
