How to deal with emotions: fight them, or make friends with them?
Being conscious of our emotions can help us maintain our happiness and prepare us to better deal with all the problems and challenges that we face in our life.
Emotions accompany us at every turn, as they are the natural responses to the situations that we are confronted with. They influence our behavior, triggering our reactions. We may also find ourselves in situations when our emotions completely take over and we cannot normally function. We can become overwhelmed, scared or even paralyzed.
The functions of our emotions
We often perceive emotions as unnecessary impulses which make our life difficult, but in fact they are normal responses. Emotions play an important role in our day-to-day living, telling us, among others, what is going on right now, what matters, whether or not pay special attention to what we hear, see and experience. If we react to something more emotionally, it is probably because it is important for us. Emotions are a significant source of information about our environment, and they can support us in making decisions. Additionally, they are also an essential catalyst in the development of our personality.
Subjectivity of emotions
The same event, fact, phenomenon, word or image can evoke different emotions and reactions in various people. It is because each of us has had a different experience in life, and we have been differently shaped by our environment and background. How we individually perceive particular things is also affected by our current mood: we can respond to the same experience in various ways, depending on the day. What made us cry yesterday can make us react differently today. That also tells us that our emotions are a natural source of information about whether what is happening to us is important for us at this moment or not. We cannot say that emotions are good or bad – they simply are. We can treat them as a tool to expand our knowledge and learn to listen to them, just as we use our five senses and our logical thinking to understand and define our experience. It is worth it to recognize what they are trying to tell us and use that knowledge to our benefit. Our self-awareness could become one of our greatest strengths.
Each of us knows a man, or a woman, who is a good listener. No matter what situation we are in, they always seem to know what to say and how to respond – so that we are not upset, neglected or offended. Such people are not only respectful but also caring in relation to others. They always know how to inspire, and give us a dose of hope and optimism. They also use their own emotions famously, not allowing them to take control. Instead, they can look at any problem from a distance, and find the best solution. They usually make the right decisions and know when to trust their intuition. Regardless of whether they do or don’t have the upper hand in any given situation, they are able to see themselves clearly and honestly, knowing how to interpret and express their emotions well. They well take criticism and use it constructively. Such people have a high level of emotional intelligence.
Johanna Kern, multiple award-winning author & transformational teacher has extensive experience in counseling people on life and career paths, health and emotional problems, relationships and family issues, and spirituality.
“Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as to recognize and understand the emotions of others. Research shows that people with high level of emotional intelligence are also the most effective, with their ability to harness emotions and apply them to their thinking and problem-solving.
More and more employers recognize that emotional intelligence is just as important to professional success as technical ability, and are increasingly paying attention to the candidate’s level of emotional intelligence during the recruitment process. In the area of our private life it is also much easier to trust someone who understands his/her emotions as well as ours and will not take us on an unnecessary emotional roller coaster.
A relationship with a person who has a high level of emotional intelligence can enrich our life, and let us experience many truly beautiful romantic moments. It is because due to their emotional wisdom, they have a wonderful ability to express appropriate emotions in appropriate situations. I believe that all of us would prefer to breathe with ease in any given situation – enjoying the richness of each moment, instead of being overwhelmed by our emotions. Our emotions can become our choice. They can be wise, mature and helpful. Our healthy and mature emotions can guide us in situations that are not clear for our logical mind. Emotional Intelligence will help us and guide us toward fulfillment, happiness and success” – says Johanna Kern, the author of the award-winning book “Master and The Green-eyed Hope”. Among other things, the book also contains the topic of our emotions, and how to deal them.
All of our emotions are good and necessary, as they are an important source of information about our experience. Fear tells us about the threat and motivates us to respond. Sadness triggers reflection and gives us the opportunity to stop and look after ourselves. Joy gives us the willingness to take on new challenges.