Many of us have experienced a situation, or situations, when we were paralyzed with fear.
We couldn’t even think straight, maybe even our surroundings became blurry, or we had a profound ringing in our ears, our heart was pounding, our hands or our whole body was shaking. Now, imagine that some people may repeatedly go through such experiences. Yes, it does happen to some of us.
If your fear is overwhelming, then it is probably related to what is called by psychologists “fight, flight, freeze or fawn response.”
It is due to our natural biological wiring, rooted in our ancestors’ instinctual behavior in dangerous situations, such as, for instance, when they met a lion or a bear on their path and had to do something to survive. Either run, or climb up a tall tree – and very quickly, or freeze and pretend to be already dead.
And that’s why we might have those uncomfortable symptoms under overwhelming stress. However, there is no need to give in to prolonged stress and let ourselves feel that way when we are simply dealing with difficult life situations. Most emotions can be monitored and modulated.
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Whether any experience seems to us bitter or sweet – depends on us: bitter and sweet are just two sides of the same coin called life journey. As we know, we define our experiences, and we decide whether we like them or not.
We can compare Our Emotions to the clouds in the sky. They can flow, coalesce, or quietly pass by. We can identify with the clouds, being always affected by our Emotions. Or – we can identify with the sky, which remains calm, no matter what kind of clouds are passing through it. It means that we can sometimes be in an emotional hole, but still not suffer from it, knowing that the emotions can be monitored, can be handled. And that they will pass.
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When we distance ourselves from our Emotions, we realize that we can interpret
experiences in various ways: we can appreciate everything that we experience, or we can choose to be selective, and either love, hate, like or dislike what we are experiencing.
We need to remember also that we can still maintain our happiness, despite many unpleasant situations.
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Happiness is not the thrill or pleasure we experience when we’re having fun. Happiness is a state in which we are always comfortable in our skin, enjoying life regardless of any circumstances.
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Our perception of the world and ourselves has the most significant impact on how we feel about life.
And the difference between our conscious and unconscious experience of life is huge: when we live life more consciously, maintaining our distance from each experience – without automatic responses, without trying to avoid at all cost what we perceive as “bitter or unpleasant” – we can reach the natural state of happiness and joy of life. We can develop faster while making conscious choices as to HOW we react to each experience.
Your Emotions can become your choice.
They can be wise, mature and helpful. And healthy, mature Emotions can guide you in situations that are not clear to your logical Mind.
Some people call it “intuition,” some people describe it as “having a good nose for something” – for instance in business – yet others call it “emotional intelligence.”
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Your Emotional Intelligence comes to the surface when you remove fearful judgments from your Life. It will tell you what to do when Your Mind can’t figure it out.
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Our emotions can be wise. They don’t have to be merely reactive, involuntary, overwhelming, or inaccessible. They are a significant part of us. But we need to and CAN learn how to do deal with them.
Next time, when you find yourself overwhelmed with your emotions, take a break.
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Stop doing whatever you are doing. Step back. Remove yourself, even for a moment, from the place, the room, where you are experiencing an emotional break – and remind yourself that you are not facing a lion but a problematic or upsetting situation and that it has no power over you.
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Close your eyes, and take ten deep breaths. Yes, it does work. Do you know why? Because when you breathe deeply and repeatedly, it increases the supply of oxygen to your brain and stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system – making you feel calmer.
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If you are under a lot of stress in your life – it is advised that you practice abdominal breathing, from your belly, for 20 to 30 minutes a day. Such breathing helps you to connect with your body, takes your awareness from your worries and quiets your mind.
Johanna Kern
