One of the most common, paralyzing fears in life for many of us is the fear of failing at what we attempt.
Often, because of that fear, we don’t even try. We’d rather forsake our dreams, we’d rather give up on our deepest need for Happiness – than face our terrifying Fear of Failure.
We all like envisioning the best possible outcome of our lives. We deeply desire to see ourselves, and our loved ones – successful and happy, enjoying a beautiful life.
Yet our dreams need our help to come true. We need to reach for what we want.
However, many of us have experienced a situation, one way or another, when we decided not to try at all, or backed off after a few disappointments – believing that we are doomed to fail.
We might remember times when we undermined our own efforts, gave up and settled for less at the moment it was time to move forward – since all we saw in our head was just a “big failure”. We convinced yourselves that it was better to stay where we were.
And so we did. We didn’t move forward, and today we might quietly wonder what would’ve happened if we did move forward, and what would’ve happened if we’d succeeded.
The Fear of Failure can become our worst nightmare at any time.
Even when we think that we have everything under control – when we’ve done our research, designed our plan and are ready to act – it might stop us in our tracks, push us back and keep us captive, for as long as we will let it.
Watch for such signs as: procrastination, perfectionism (you won’t proceed with something, unless you are sure you can complete it in a successful and perfect way), self-sabotage (you won’t follow through with your goals, always finding some excuse), speaking and thinking of yourself in a negative way (low self-esteem), prolonging anxiety about change etc.
When we discover that we have The Fear of Failure, it is good to remember one thing: it’s all about perspective. What scares us in our mind, in reality might not be so bad.
Step 1: It is important to understand and accept that any perception can be changed. We all know failure. We have failed many times when we were learning to walk. It didn’t stop us from walking. The same goes for riding a bicycle, swimming, talking, reading, writing, cooking etc. We failed many times before we became good at something. In the end, we succeeded.
If we don’t give ourselves a chance, we will certainly fail before we even begin.
Step 2: Notice and accept that failing is not so bad, it’s just the other side of the coin called “success”. When you toss a coin, it lands on one side. If you don’t like how it landed, you can flip it again. You can flip it as many times as you want until it lands the way you want it. FAILURE IS JUST ANOTHER STEP TO SUCCESS.
It simply requires your effort, persistence and your decision to get what you want.
Step 3: Notice that there is always someone else in the world who has already done things similar to what you dream about. Which means – it can be done. Yes, it can be done by a human, just like you.
And – if you think that something you attempt to do has never been done yet – remember: there have been, there are and there always will be situations when someone, just like you, does something for the first time.
That’s right – “the first time” has been done too!
Step 4: Realize that your Fear of Failure is stopping you from fully, and happily, experiencing your life. Talk about your anxiety with your friends, or – if you are in a relationship – with your partner/spouse. Don’t be afraid to admit that you have such fear. Naming “the devil” is half the battle. All you need after that is a bit of courage and support.
Step 5: Start with small steps. Let yourself succeed at them. We already know that big steps consist of many small steps. Get any help you’ll find to build up your self-esteem and go for it. Your happy life awaits you.
You do have what it takes to get where you want to be. You are awesome.
Your Fear of Failure won’t withstand your courage.
It isn’t built to win; it only knows how to fail.
REMEMBER ALSO: OUR SUBCONSCIOUS rules 90% of our thinking and behavior. It is responsible for our habits, emotions, automatic reactions, defensive mechanisms etc., which may keep you stuck in unwanted situations in life. You can reprogram your subconscious and get rid of the negative patterns stopping you from Living The Life You Want.
Johanna Kern, multiple award-winning author, filmmaker and transformational teacher, has extensive experience in counseling people on life and career paths, health and emotional problems, relationships and family issues, and spirituality.
Drawing from her experience and knowledge from over 20 years as a successful professional and counsellor, she has designed a special program included in her award-winning book “365 (+1) Affirmations to Create a Great Life”: an easy step-by-step method for overcoming subconscious programming and improving any life situation.
She recorded also a series of CDs to be listened to in a state of deep relaxation, while she is guiding the listeners through the process of reprogramming their subconscious.
These or similar tools are very effective and you can find what will suit your preferences and needs.
“I am moving forward just like everything else in the world. I can feel the constant flow of my emotions, observing them like clouds passing through the sky. When I feel fear, I can diminish it by focusing on my breath. I count from 1 to 5, when I inhale, hold my breath at the count of 1 to 5, and exhale: 1 to 5.”
“I welcome this very moment as an opportunity. I am choosing to have an open Heart rather than fearing life. I am choosing to have an open Mind rather than fearing failure. I am stepping into my Better Future with courage and trust. Whatever happens, it always happens for my best.”– From the award-winning book “365 (+1) Affirmations to Create a Great Life” by Johanna Kern.
And before all:
Relax. All is good. All is just the way it is supposed to be.
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