Johanna Kern’s article titled “Deep Joy: Unconditional Love in Relationships” was printed in the February 2019 edition of “The Edge” magazine. The magazine has been printed in America since 1992, has over 40K readers monthly, and hundreds of thousands more online. It focuses on topics exploring the Evolution of Consciousness and supports the Holistic Community of the Twin Cities, Upper Midwest and beyond.
Deep Joy:Unconditional Love in Relationships
The Evolution of True Love
There are as many views and theories of what love is about as there are people who have given a thought to that intriguing and exciting subject. Is love a feeling, an emotion, or a state of mind? Is it the best thing that can ever happen to us, or a disaster which can ruin our life? Or is love a “predicament,” a “situation” or a “mental or emotional disruption” that happens to us?
Questions like these have been perpetuated by numerous writers, poets, performers, other artists, psychologists, philosophers and those who have ever been, or have hoped to be, in love.
Falling in love is not only a sexual passion we feel at the sight or thought of someone we desire. It is the admiration we have for somebody’s specialness. Of course, we often feel the sexual attraction as well, since our bodies go through all sorts of chemical reactions all the time. Yet, the difference between infatuation and falling in love is very clear.
Infatuation is usually described as physical attraction, although it may be also that we are smitten by someone because of some of their traits in a way that is not strictly physical. Falling in love means that we adore the person for whom they truly are on a much deeper level than just their appearance or interesting personality.
Can infatuation lead to falling in love? Maybe. Or maybe not. Infatuation wears off over time, and if there isn’t a deeper connection between two people, there isn’t enough substance in their relationship to make it really fulfilling — not even after they get married or have children. When a couple doesn’t truly appreciate each other, there is no ground for building a relationship based on true love.
To love someone truly and unconditionally is to see that person on a deep level — you see their pure heart, their true being. Love is one of the energies affecting the world, and it is one of the internal processes that we all go through, sooner or later — at one point or another.
Love is an actual energy, with a particular quality and vibration, and it is a part of the wheel of creation that affects us at all times, giving us a chance to evolve.
Opening ourselves to love is one of the biggest and most important steps in our evolution. When we tune into the energy of love, we are able to recognize, appreciate and respect the light we see in every form of life, including our partner.
When we admire who they are beyond their physical appearance or personality traits, we have a quiet pleasant feeling, deep inside. It is a very different feeling than being swept off our feet by somebody’s beauty or personality traits. It is a deep and sincere feeling, which surprisingly translates to joy. There are no “bells” associated with it and we don’t lose our mind, or breath.
When our heart recognizes and admires another heart, we feel quiet Joy.
The evolution of true love in a relationship always includes the gradual exploration and experiencing of the seven aspects of love: joy, acceptance, lowliness (as in being humble), equality, surrender, equilibrium and reconciliation. Although these are the aspects of the Universal love, they do affect us in our own romantic relationships and we learn about them, sooner and later.
When we tune into the energy of Universal love, its seven aspects pamper our romantic love on a daily basis. Our unconditional love will look past our traits, and past our looks. It will know whether our behavior, emotions or any of our patterns are a true expression of who we are, or just our subconscious programming. If we have some emotional wounds or imprinted negative subconscious patterns and need time to heal, we will support each other in that. Mind you, to support someone we love does not mean to sacrifice our own happiness for them. Ruining one’s own happiness in any way is associated with infatuation and obsession, not with true unconditional love.
When we say that true love includes, not excludes, it also means that true unconditional Love supports the well-being of both people involved.
The above article is based on excerpts from the book “Secrets of Love for Everyone: Everything You Need to Know to Have an Amazing Relationship”, published by HOPE Assn.
Los Angeles Book Festival, March 2018 (“How-To” category)
Whether you are still looking for true Love, or want to improve the relationship you are already in – with these Secrets you can make your Love the best story of your life.
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Everything You Need to Know To Have an Amazing Relationship:
This award-winning book speaks to the readers in an inclusive way. Whether young or old, straight or gay, conservative or radical in your approach to love and sensual intimacy – you will benefit from the Secrets contained in this book.