“E” like EMOTIONS
We are here. We have survived, and we have evolved. We have inherited some traits from our ancestors, and we have developed some new traits: physical, intellectual, spiritual and emotional.
We have evolved for the purpose of experiencing more of who we are, and we continue to become more of who we are.
Our perception of who we are affects the way we respond to life situations and how we emotionally feel. Yet no matter how confident, experienced or knowing we are – we might, especially in stressful situations, suddenly feel overwhelmed, sometimes perhaps even paralyzed with fear. We might say then that we can’t think straight.
It is due to our natural biological wiring, rooted in our ancestors’ instinctual behavior in dangerous situations – such as, for instance, when they met a lion or a bear on their path and had to do something to survive. Either run, or climb a tall tree – and very quickly, or freeze and pretend to be already dead.
We have inherited from our ancestors the so-called “fight, flight, freeze or fawn response”. It was important for our Evolution as human species because it was crucial for our survival.
However, there is no need to give in to prolonged stress and let ourselves feel that way when we are simply dealing with difficult life situations. Most Emotions can be monitored and modulated.
We don’t need to “flee, freeze or fawn” when life becomes difficult. Our survival no longer depends merely on that.
Our Emotions can become our choice.
They can be wise, mature and helpful. Healthy, mature Emotions can guide us in situations that are not clear for our logical Mind. Some people call it “intuition”, some people describe it as “having a good nose for something” – for instance in business – yet others call it “emotional intelligence.”
Our emotional intelligence comes to the surface when we remove fearful judgments from our life.
What we need now to further evolve and survive is to learn how to operate skilfully when we are faced with overwhelming facts, tasks, and stress of everyday living.
Whether any experience seems bitter or sweet – depends on us: bitter and sweet are just two sides of the same coin called life journey. As we know, we define our experiences, and we decide whether we like them or not.
Most Emotions can be monitored and modulated:
We can compare our Emotions to the clouds in the sky. They can flow, coalesce, or quietly pass by. We can identify with the clouds, being dependent on their status. Or – we can identify with the sky, which remains calm, no matter what kind of clouds (Emotions) are passing through it. It means that we can sometimes be in an emotional hole, but still not suffer from it.
If we distance ourselves from our Emotions, we realize that we can interpret experiences in various ways: we can appreciate everything that we experience, or we can choose to be selective, and either love, hate, like or dislike what we are experiencing.
Next time, when you find yourself overwhelmed with your emotions, take a break.
Stop doing whatever you are doing. Step back. Remove yourself, even for a moment, from the place, the room, where you are experiencing an emotional break – and remind yourself that you are not facing a lion but a difficult or upsetting situation and that it has no power over you. Close your eyes, and take ten deep breaths. Yes, it does work. Do you know why? Because when you breathe deeply and repeatedly, it increases the supply of oxygen to your brain and stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system – making you feel calmer.
If you are under a lot of stress in your life– it is advised that you practice abdominal breathing, from your belly, for 20 to 30 minutes a day. Such breathing helps you to connect with your body, takes your awareness from your worries and quiets your mind.
Our Effectiveness depends no longer on the “flight, freeze or fawn response.”
Our Effectiveness depends on how well we can deal with stress.
Evolution is not just about surviving. Evolution is primarily about thriving. And thriving in life is about enthusiasm for life.
When we have enthusiasm for life, we are joyous, and we are happy. We need to remember that we can still maintain our happiness, despite many unpleasant situations. Happiness is not the thrill or pleasure we experience when we’re having fun. Happiness is a state in which we are always comfortable in our own skin, enjoying life regardless of any circumstances.
Our own perception of the world and ourselves has the largest impact on how we feel about life. The difference between our conscious and unconscious experience of life is huge: when we live life more consciously, maintaining our emotional distance from each experience – without automatic responses, without trying to avoid at all cost what we perceive as “bitter or unpleasant” – we are able to reach the natural state of happiness and joy of life. We are able to develop faster, while making conscious choices as to HOW we react to each experience.
Where to start:
Begin with deleting old programming from your Mind, conditioning from the past that no longer serves you today.
Look into your Heart and bring its vision to your Mind.
* In the Master Teachings of HOPE, we use the word “Heart” to describe the core of our essence, our “pure inner person”. The part of us where we hold our own, beautiful truth, free of any conditioning and fears.
– Tell your Mind to listen carefully to your Heart. Close your eyes and imagine your life according to your Heart’s vision. Stay with this feeling for a little while.
This is how true enthusiasm for life feels. This is how it will always feel when what you think or do is in alignment with who you truly are.
There is a wonderful feeling to a great life. Now that you know it, you’ll know how to find it.
Your emotional intelligence will help you and guide you toward fulfillment, happiness and success.
Both in your private and professional life you need your emotional intelligence to truly succeed (see: True Success vs False Success.)
Both in your private and professional life you need to tap into your innate joy of living to maintain your happiness and enthusiasm for who you are and what you experience.